It has come time to face a few truths about my life.
- I am not going to be able to HomeSchool or even Pseudo HomeSchool my kids. No matter how much I really want to, and how much I am really inspired by it, it is not going to happen. I continually see inspiring ideas online ... Tot School, Montessori, Letter of the Week ... you name it and I am inspired by it. I clip ideas to Evernote, I download file after file, I print things out, I even have a laminator, but they never get organized and implemented.
- Part of the above realization is due to the crazy changes in my life since I started this journey. Our move, my return to full-time work, our 1 year rental home (ie. nothing getting unpacked because it will just get repacked in a few months...). The other part of the above realization is due to the nature of my children. The lack of attention and delays between the two of them make it very difficult to keep anything organized. I do try, and by trying I do make a difference, but they get into everything no matter how I try to organize it, and they mess it up, lose pieces to it, and destroy things. As they get older, I will be able to get things done with them, but right now it's not so easy.
- My time is better spent getting to bed early and trying to get sleep to take care of myself rather than stay up to the wee hours of the night trying to get things made and done. This is a hard realization for me, but I have to take care of myself so I will be around for them.
- I love to blog, but committing to it is difficult. I am trying, and that's about all I can say right now.
- I need to reduce the amount of blogs I follow in my Google Reader. Right now, when I log in, there are about 300 unread posts. This does not do me any good in trying to get my life together. I spend so much time obsessively going through all of the posts that I don't get anything else done. That is just counter productive. The hard part is going to be figuring out which ones to unsubscribe to.
I am still working on self realizations and truths. But these ones have been on my mind lately. Instead of failing at the standards I have set for myself, I figured that it's better to set new standards that I can keep (and then feel some amount of success) rather than always feel like a failure.
Thanks for sticking with me. This is by no means an end to my journey here. This journey has taken a new path - much newer than I intended when I started it a little over a year ago. I was going to be the next Carisa at 1+1+1=1 *hee hee* but now I just get the joy of reading the wonderful things she does for her family. I will continue to try and keep posting what I do, but I am done trying to fool myself and depress myself.
Thank you for listening.